Most folks think Bigfoot avoids humans. Truth is, he’s just busy logging chickadees. Folklore across the backwoods paints him as a master tracker, but field notes reveal his real obsession: birdwatching. Documented only in smudged binocular lenses and three suspiciously detailed feeder journals, the cryptid has been observed perched on logs, field guide in hand, quietly squatchin’ for birds. Subjects report he favors crows, warblers, and any species smart enough to know when to vanish. This hoodie is your honorary membership into his secret birding club—the one where members skip brunch to chase elusive winged sightings. Wear it on dawn hikes, while lurking near feeders, or while confidently nodding at strangers like you totally know the difference between a nuthatch and a chickadee. Crafted from USA-grown, USA-sewn fabric, it’s stitched tougher than a woodpecker’s skull but soft like a downy nest. Survivors of extended field tests claim it holds up against muddy trails, mosquito ambushes, and the existential dread of realizing Bigfoot has a better life list than you. Conclusion: you can look for Bigfoot, or you can birdwatch with him. Either way, the hoodie is the real rare sighting.

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