This tee ships fast & free from Detroit. Official bulletin, filed under “Irregular Colonial Activity”: a bicorne-hatted hominid has been spotted marching north with the New England convoy, hoisting a frosty liberty-ale and a regulation football. Eyewitnesses report he toasts the harbor, the highway, and anyone brave enough to make eye contact. Patriot folklore says he emerges when the forecast promises wind, noise, and historical grievances. Documented only in three blurry sideline photos and one soggy pamphlet, specimen exhibits superior scarf etiquette and unfailing tavern diplomacy. Field Guide Addendum: “Subject tracks by nacho crumbs; calls audibles in early-republic accents.” You pull this tee on and rally the crew: car flags flapping, playlists blasting, tailgate treaties signed under the jurisdiction of charcoal and good sense. Whether you’re invading Buffalo or defending the neighborhood bar, you arrive like a marching band that learned clock management. The fabric sits like battle-tested tricorn felt, minus the itch and revolutions. Ink pops brighter than a victory parade; seams endure chest-bumps, road-salt, and the disappointment of the prequels. Field testers report improved chant timing and +3 resistance to heckling. Ready the toast, steady the stance, and let history repeat—louder, warmer, and better hydrated. Claim the lore, plant the flag, and stay squatchy, citizen. - You choose your side. - You get it shipped fast & free. - The losing team's design? Retired after the loss. 🚚 SHIPPING INFO:

• 🕒 This item ships FAST — because kickoff waits for no one.
• ✅ No extra shipping charge — it's built into the drop.

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