Stormtroopers: armored, trained, and canonically terrible at their jobs. Enter Bigfoot, strolling out of the forest with Jedi-level chill. Forget Obi-Wan’s smooth “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” Squatch goes straight to: “These aren’t the footprints you’re looking for.” A single hand wave, and suddenly the Empire’s best are wandering off to miss more shots elsewhere. Field notes: “Imperial squad documented examining oversized tracks. Specimen employed minimal telepathic effort, resulting in subject confusion and immediate disengagement. Secondary note: Squatch leaned against tree, smug as a Jedi on vacation.” Translation? Cryptids know the Force. Canon bent, deal with it. This hoodie is for lore benders, meme believers, and anyone who knows Bigfoot’s been chilling near Endor this whole time. Pull it on for camping trips, convention lines, or just to flex your insider status while sipping coffee like a Jedi who skipped training. Standard issue pullover: cozy enough for Ewok naps, durable enough to survive forest floors and endless fan debates. And yes, pocket space for snacks—because that’s how Squatch rolls. Because if Jedi can bend minds, you bet Squatch can bend canon.

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