Star Wars: Bigfoot Jedi Mind Trick

Long ago in a galaxy far, far away… somebody left the forest gate open. Enter Bigfoot, casually strolling into canon like he’s been Force-sensitive the whole time. And when a squad of Stormtroopers shows up sniffing around? Forget “these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” Squatch just leans in, shades on, and drops: “These aren’t the footprints you’re looking for.” Jedi mind trick meets cryptid improv—documented only in fanfic margins and three blurry sightings outside Endor.

Field notes: “Subjects in white armor observed investigating oversized tracks. Specimen responded with low-effort telepathy, immediately confusing targets whose hit ratio is already statistically abysmal.” Translation: Stormtroopers didn’t stand a chance.

This collection is for the cryptid believers, the cosplay misfits, the forest kids who know Bigfoot’s been Force ghosting since before Yoda packed for Dagobah. Stick it on your hoodie, your water bottle, your wall—basically anywhere Imperial patrols won’t think to look.

Comfortable enough for rewatches, tough enough to survive family debates about which trilogy is “real.”

Because if the Jedi can bend minds, you bet Squatch can bend canon.