Stormtroopers: fully armed, fully clueless. Enter Bigfoot, leaning against a tree like the galaxy’s chillest outlaw, waving off their suspicions with: “These aren’t the footprints you’re looking for.” Jedi mind trick? More like Squatch mind trick—and yes, it works every time. Field notes: “Imperial patrol documented crouched over oversized tracks. Specimen employed subtle telepathy while maintaining maximum smugness. Troopers disengaged instantly, likely wandering off to miss shots elsewhere. Secondary detail: subject wore sunglasses indoors. Confidence level: legendary.” Translation? Even canon can’t resist Squatch logic. This tank is for women who know cryptids are always in style and Star Wars canon is bendable with enough attitude. Wear it camping, to cons, or to brunch when you want to look like you know something everyone else doesn’t (because you do). Ladies’ triblend tank: soft as Ewok fluff, strong enough for forest treks, and cut so you can flex your own Jedi-wave while holding iced coffee. Because if Jedi can bend minds, you bet Squatch can bend canon.

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