File under: “Unsolved Yuletide Mysteries.” Every December, fresh reports surface of a massive, shaggy figure wandering through living rooms, carefully rearranging ornaments before vanishing into the eggnog haze. Experts classify this as the Squatchmas Phenomenon. Documented only in blurry Polaroids and half-baked uncle stories, Bigfoot has now been caught—permanently—on this round ornament, mid-stride, mid-myth, and mid-denial. Field notes confirm: the ornament is engineered with a durable MDF core and high-gloss finish, rumored to withstand both the gravitational pull of fruitcake and Aunt Linda’s annual tirades. The festive gold cord has been stress-tested to dangle under conditions of high skepticism, low tree stability, and at least one cat attack per season. Deploy it on a spruce, a fake pine, or that ficus you keep pretending counts as festive. Shines bright enough to outlast three generations of garland, family feuds, and holiday reboots no one asked for. This isn’t just holiday décor—it’s cryptid evidence dangling in plain sight. Rare sightings, since forever… and now in your living room. Buy it, or risk another year explaining why your tree looks like a sad gas station lobby.

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