Locals whisper of the thing that drifts the rivers at dusk. No engine, no splash—just the steady scrape of a paddle and the unsettling sight of something massive in a canoe, grinning like it knows your secrets. Documented only in three blurry campfire stories and one confiscated Polaroid, “River Squatch” is said to navigate currents smoother than human kayakers who spent $900 on lessons. He leaves no wake, no trace—except for the echo of a deep chuckle and a trail of crushed beer cans mysteriously rearranged into cairns. Enter: the “Yep, I Canoe Too” tumbler. A 20oz stainless steel vessel forged for long drifts, midnight paddles, and liquid courage refills. Vacuum-sealed, double-walled—this beast keeps your brew hotter than campfire gossip or colder than the water under your overturned canoe. The lid? Lock-tight, because nothing ruins a cryptid sighting like coffee in your lap. Take it on rivers, lakes, or the swamp you swore you wouldn’t paddle after dark. Its glossy wraparound art—Bigfoot himself flashing a peace sign from his boat—serves as your only warning: if you see him out there, don’t race. You’ll lose. Paddle. Sip. Survive. Or stay ashore and wonder what legends taste like.

Add to Cart