Contrary to urban legend, Bigfoot isn’t just hiding—he’s hiking. Documented sightings describe him cruising switchbacks with a pack full of trail mix, a map he definitely doesn’t need, and the kind of smug grin only someone with size-18 bare feet can pull off. Captioned in ranger notes as “Low Profile, High Peaks,” this behavior proves that even cryptids crave altitude. Issued here is the Squatch Hiking Hoodie—standard gear for blending into the backcountry without smelling like bug spray. Double-needle seams? Reinforced like a tent pole in hurricane season. Drawcord system? Classified “trail-proof,” whether you’re cinching down for summit winds or raiding a gas station burrito at basecamp. The 80/10/10 tri-blend fabric is a hiker’s paradox: cotton comfort, polyester grit, and recycled bottles spun into threads tougher than your knees on mile 12. Inside, the 3-end fleece lofts like a cumulus cloud while holding prints sharp enough to survive trail dust and campfire smoke. Operational note: Hoodie wearers report higher odds of unsolicited trailhead conversations that begin, “You seen anything up there?” Conclusion: Bigfoot hikes to stay hidden. You hike to join the myth. Standard issue approved.

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