404 Jedi Not Found Hoodie — Star Wars Parody Pullover
$ 38
The galaxy’s most dramatic mic drop wasn’t a lightsaber duel—it was Obi-Wan turning into an error message. One second: cloaked Jedi master locked in combat. Next: nothing but a robe on the floor and a saber clattering like Windows 95 crashing. Welcome to 404 Jedi Not Found—the bug in the Force no patch will ever fix. Field notes: “Specimen vanished mid-duel. Remaining artifacts: suspiciously tidy cloak pile and deactivated saber. Theory suggests rapid upgrade to Force Ghost 2.0. Documentation inconclusive, but witnesses report Vader muttering ‘what the—’ under breath.” Translation? Obi-Wan didn’t die—he just alt-F4’d reality. This hoodie is for the fans who live for rewinds, memes, and glitch-in-the-matrix moments. Pull it on for late-night rewatches, con lines, or just to confuse stormtroopers at the grocery store. Made in standard-issue pullover format: thick enough to survive another trilogy debate, soft enough to lull you into Force meditation, and roomy enough to stash snacks (the Jedi’s real fuel). Because sometimes the strongest Jedi move isn’t a strike—it’s a clean logout.
Field Notes: Blaster Hoodie (Standard Issue)
- Seam Construction: Double-needle top stitch on all seams—reinforced like Bigfoot’s alibi, tougher than blurry evidence.
- Drawcord System: DTM round drawcord with tipped ends + metal eyelets—classified as “secure enough for forest trekking and late-night snack raids.”
- Fabric Origin: 80% cotton, 10% polyester, 10% recycled plastic bottles—yes, you’re basically wearing a hybrid of trees, tech, and trash-turned-treasure.
- Material Behavior: 3-end fleece with tight-knit construction—optimized for sharper prints and a loftier handfeel (translation: cozy enough to survive abductions, Netflix, or Ice Age flashbacks).
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