Bigfoot Canoeing Ornament — Cryptid Christmas Tree Decoration
$ 11
**Expedition Note #214:** Sightings confirm that Bigfoot is not only a master of trails, waves, and wheels—he also dominates the waterways. Witnesses describe a hulking silhouette gliding smoothly across misty lakes, paddle in hand, cooler full of “classified rations” (read: snacks), and the occasional peace sign flashed at stunned fishermen. Locals insist: Yep, he can canoe too. Now, immortalized in glossy ornament form, Canoe Squatch drifts straight onto your spruce. Built with a durable MDF core and high-gloss finish, this ornament is tougher than river rocks and shinier than the forehead of someone who “forgot sunscreen again.” The included gold cord is field-tested to withstand tree turbulence, fishing line tangles, and the inevitable holiday cat attack. Hang it where the lights shimmer like moonlight on water. Owners report mysterious cravings for s’mores, unsolicited banjo riffs, and the sudden urge to mutter “portage” with authority. Whether you paddle, drift, or just float in denial, this cryptid ornament keeps your tree legendary. Because anyone can hang a snowflake—but only legends hang Sasquatch in a canoe.
Field Notes: Squatch Ornament
- Composition: Durable MDF core with high-gloss plastic finish—engineered to outlast tree tinsel, fruitcake, and at least three family feuds.
- Hanging System: Ships with a festive gold cord—field-tested to dangle securely, even under the weight of cryptid-level skepticism.
- Dimensions: 2.75" tall × 1/8" thick × 0.5 oz—compact but impossible to ignore, like most blurry evidence.
- Field Rating: Holiday-proof—shines on evergreens, fake trees, or that questionable ficus you keep insisting is “seasonal.”
Reviews
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📸 Send your review (and a photo if you’ve got one!) to
👉 campfire@mythicalthreads.com
And because legends take care of each other...
🎁 We’ll give you 10% off your next order if you send in a photo with your review.
Yes — that includes blurry tailgate selfies, mirror pics, and shots of your dog wearing your hoodie.
Let’s build the myth together. 🔥
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