They thought the ocean was safe—that its monsters stayed beneath the waves. Wrong. Field sightings confirm a towering silhouette rising at dawn, balancing on a surfboard like some unholy cross between Gidget and Godzilla. Witnesses swear the horizon itself shifts when Sasquatch drops in, a wall of fur carving a perfect line across impossible swells. His call sign? “Stay Salty, Stay Squatchy.” Translation: don’t follow him into the water unless you want to disappear in a spray of foam and fear. Enter the Surf Squatch Tumbler. This 20oz stainless steel cryptid canister was forged to keep brews hot enough to cauterize shark bites or cold enough to freeze the salt from your lips. Double-walled, vacuum-sealed—engineered for surf checks at dawn and bonfire rituals after dark. The glossy wraparound print depicts the Beast mid-shred, sun burning behind him like some mythic warning flare. Toss it in your beach bag, wedge it in your board rack, or clutch it while you swear you definitely saw something hairy paddling out. Whether it’s coffee, beer, or seawater (we don’t judge), this thing locks it in tight. Sip if you dare. Surf if you’re suicidal. Legends don’t wipe out—they consume.

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